Good Night, Mrs. Malaprop, Wherever You Are
Jimmy Durante in “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”
A mist1 of chaos surrounds the presidential election, reminding us that damp weather is very hard on the sciences.2 It’s a doggy dog3 world out there, and everybody has some antidotes4 to tell. We need to be prepared to step in and build some breaches,5 yet we can’t be a pancreas6 to the world’s problems.
If the election is not close because there is a traumatic7 difference between the candidates, then there will be little need to retaliate8 the votes. On the other hand, it could be a cliff-dweller.9 Are you getting the jest10 of this? The outcome of this election is beyond our current apprehension,11 and will no doubt be unparalyzed12 in the nation’s history. Irregardless13 of all that, some of you could care less,14 and for all intensive purposes15 you will refudiate16 the results, supposively17 believing that worst has come to worst.18 At one time as a young nation we were full of vim and vinegar,19 and now we are sorry for the incontinence.20
– Ed.
1-amidst; 2-sinuses; 3-dog eat dog; 4-anecdotes; 5-bridges; 6-panacea; 7-dramatic; 8-retabulate; 9-cliffhanger; 10-gist; 11-comprehension; 12-unparalleled; 13-regardless; 14-could not care less; 15-intents and purposes; 16-refuse and repudiate; 17-supposedly; 18-worse has come to worst; 19-vim and vigor, or piss and vinegar; 20-inconvenience