Fartsniffers

 

Fartsniffers are those people who think whatever emanates from themselves is golden, while they dismiss with disdain the opinions, suggestions, remarks, and other contributions of those whom they perceive to have lower socioeconomic or educational status, which is pretty well everyone but fellow Fartsniffers because the typical Fartsniffer is a rich old white man, and in our society they are perceived to be at the top of the heap by many, and certainly by themselves. Fartsniffers enjoy the smell of their own farts, in short, because to them their farts smell like roses, and reality dare not intervene with the truth.


A Fartsniffer.

The salient characteristic of the Fartsniffer is an arrogant, smug enjoyment of their privileged place in society. This helps keep other, lesser people in their place. Not all rich old white men are Fartsniffers, but most Fartsniffers are rich old white men. It’s a big club, as George Carlin said, and they’re becoming more dangerous than usual because they sense the barbarians at the gate and the loss of their rightful privilege should the barbarians get in and undercut that privilege. It would be a moment like when Dorothy pulled back the curtain to unveil the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, revealing an ordinary man, or as the Scarecrow called him, a “Humbug.”

Some institutions as a whole are Fartsniffing Institutions, such as The New York Times and the Associated Press. Not every individual operating in those institutions is a Fartsniffer, but many are, such as David Brooks of The New York Times. It’s anybody’s guess whether the culture of an institution instills fartsniffery in its staff, or whether certain individuals predisposed to fartsniffery are attracted to a like minded institution, where their fartsniffing attributes can flower and flourish.

How do you know when you’ve encountered a Fartsniffer? The whiff of arrogance and narcissism combined with a sometimes confounding stupidity is usually enough to tip you off. If that first impression is not enough, then further observation will reveal a person who feels entitled to all that privilege has bestowed upon him, and often because he claims he arrived at his vaunted position in society entirely through his own diligent hard work and incisive acumen. Many times the Fartsniffer’s assessment of his own prowess lacks objectively supportable evidence. You’ll just have to take his word for it – he belongs at the top of the heap, and you do not.


George Carlin talks about the Fartsniffers who own this country in his Life Is Worth Losing show in November 2005 at the Beacon Theatre in New York City. Warning: foul language.

When you come away from a conversation with someone who believes their opinion is the only one that matters, and that your opinion is worthy only of scoffing, if not outright derision, then you’ll know you have encountered a Fartsniffer. Don’t let it get you down. Once you know what to look for – or smell for – you can avoid letting Fartsniffers into your life, such as by not watching pundit pontificating shows on television, where Fartsniffers tend to congregate. There’s no way to avoid them entirely, since they own and run many of the institutions we need in our daily lives just to get by, but their noxious effects can be neutralized somewhat by refusing to take them as seriously as they take themselves. The Fartsniffers will be out bloviating everywhere in the coming weeks as Election Day nears; to avoid getting buffaloed, adopt reason as your shield and ridicule as your weapon.
— Ed.

 

The Level Playing Field

 

If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business — you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen. The Internet didn’t get invented on its own. Government research created the Internet so that all the companies could make money off the Internet.

— Barack Obama, speaking at a July 2012 campaign appearance in Virginia. Republicans quickly jumped on his comments, taking them out of context in order to convince business owners he was insulting them and their hard work and initiative.

If anyone needed a reminder there is no such thing as a level playing field, the recent college admissions scandal ought to have brought it home. There was no surprise about wealthy parents greasing the skids to get their children into prestigious universities, and no surprise about the willingness of those institutions to bend their own rules to the breaking point in order get more money in their coffers. The admissions dance between wealthy patrons and their preferred institutions of higher learning has never been particularly secret, either, as can be seen with the admission of Jared Kushner to Harvard in 1999.

 

There’s enough hypocrisy and corruption in this latest scandal to go around many times, equal in its way to college admissions standards being contorted for the benefit of the athletic program and wealthy and amoral alumni supporters who want top athletes for the school no matter how deficient their academic qualifications. Any sober scrutiny of that boondoggle would cause the implosion of most major athletic programs at schools large and small. Poorly qualified students have always entered the doors of academia, whether the ticket they or their parents proffered was wrapped in large amounts of currency or in the promise of athletic prowess.

The Education System in Britain, 1914-1918 Q30858
Eton schoolboys digging potatoes from an allotment allocated for wartime vegetable production on the school playing fields during the First World War. Photo by Horace Nicholls (1867-1941) archived in the Imperial War Museum. Unfortunately, times of dire emergency and full mobilization are required to get the rich and their progeny to pitch in and work like everyone else.

The interesting aspect to examine after the latest revelations is the idea of meritocracy, which seems to offer a delusion of an open society to the poor and the unlucky. Rich, successful people want everyone to believe they achieved their exalted station entirely through their own merits. Many of them fervently believe this themselves. They take little account of the advantages afforded them by the society at large, and especially by dumb luck. This society’s adherence to the tenets of meritocracy results in rich, successful people giving themselves too much credit for their good fortune and poor, working people accepting too much blame for their abysmal circumstances. Meritocracy serves the purposes of the rich in allowing them to excuse their selfish behavior and to have disdain for the poor.

The way the system really works on behalf of well-off individuals and organizations is that they are made to believe a successful business or investment is all their own doing, and therefore they immodestly grab the larger portion of the profits for themselves, while unsuccessful endeavors are the fault of others, usually the workers, who need to accept blame and financial losses in the form of wage cuts or termination of employment. Privatized profits and socialized losses – that’s the American Way. Top executives sit on the boards of companies to look out for the interests of other top executives, members of what has largely been an Old Boys’ Club for as long as elites have dodged responsibility to the greater society, which is to say forever.

An excerpt from the “Dumb Americans” section of George Carlin’s 2005 Life Is Worth Losing performance. Warning: foul language.

If the minimum wage had kept pace with Wall Street bonuses – not pay, but bonuses only – over the past generation, it would stand at $33 an hour today. The people on Wall Street do provide the necessary economic service of concentrating investment capital, but that service is not as vital nor the work as important as portrayed in the 1980s television advertisements for the investment firm Smith Barney, in which the actor and producer John Houseman pompously announced “They make money the old-fashioned way. They earn it.” Hogwash! And it has only gotten deeper since the 1980s, to the point we’re all drowning in it, and Wall Street investors would have everyone believe they are the driving force of the economy, not the workers who actually produce useful things. Better education is needed, starting with teaching that rich does not necessarily equate with deserving, and that money is not a measure of worth beyond its contribution to the common good.
— Ed.